Live Well With Me

If 2016 Me saw the me I am now, she would be shocked, baffled, and in denial.

If 2016 Me saw me now, she wouldn’t believe it.

If 2016 Me saw me now, she’d call bullshit.

I won’t say too much here, but if you know me, you know. 2016 was the year that everything about my life changed. My perceptions, perspectives, life experiences, and trauma all shifted during 2016. I started that year with such a positive mindset, such an optimistic feeling. I entered a new role as a provider enrollment specialist, using my newly acquired bachelor’s degree in health information management. However, two weeks into that job, my mental health and marriage began to fall apart. To be fair, this wasn’t the first time I struggled with my mental health. I struggled with staying on a routine, seeing a therapist regularly, and properly medicating myself – so, of course, I wasn’t stable for long. This episode cost me the life I was blessed with initially, as I was soon divorced and lost sole custody of my daughter. This particular moment in my life was a canon event. It was something that needed to happen to teach me a lesson – I just wasn’t aware of how big a lesson it was until two years later (2018). By the end of 2018, I was reaping much of what I sowed in 2016-2017. I made several questionable decisions from 2016 to 2017, putting myself in danger in many ways, because of my desire to tempt fate back then.

Yet, by the end of 2018 and into 2019, I started making better choices. I separated from people who were not my supporters, people who simply told me what I wanted to hear. I journaled, got into art (drawing and painting), wrote stories about my trauma that gave me a sense of control over the outcomes, and so much more. I lived on my own from 2019-2020, which gave me a lot of time to reflect on my actions and behaviors. The next six years were nothing but growth as I came to see my relationships differently, because I knew which morals and characteristics were important to me. I learned how to carry myself more confidently, and when not to talk too much (that was an important one for me). I got remarried in 2021, and it has been considered one of the healthiest relationships I have ever had. I built a strong relationship with his mother, who became like my best friend. She, unfortunately, passed away in 2024. It was rough, but two years later, I am finally feeling myself come out from the heavy grief of that loss.

Anyway, I didn’t want this reflection to be too long, because – well, I am working on a more structured memoir nowadays. Recently, it became very clear that I have a story to tell. I am quite excited to be at a point in my life where I feel I can share it, but it is scary to share a vulnerable part of myself with the world. In any case, this reflection offers a very brief sense of my motivation for writing a memoir. (I know, I’ve talked about it before, but this idea actually has substance now.)

After seeing so many people speak so highly of 2016, I wanted to reflect on how it was such a low point in my life, yet it led me here, now, and to today. And I couldn’t be prouder that 2016 Me held on tight and didn’t let the world break her.